Desperation
by seongmi
Summary: Ranma's fiancees have finally driven him over the edge and he needs to find a way out. What will he choose to do in his desperation? This is a one shot.


I do not own any of the Ranma characters and am writing this solely for everyone's enjoyment.  
  
DESPERATION  
  
Ranma ran as fast as he could through the heavy falling snow. He had been running a long time, but he didn't care. Even though his lungs felt like they were going to burst and his legs felt like they were on fire, he kept pressing on. Running away, away from the pain, the betrayal, and the disbelief. Away from every entanglement in his life that kept him from what he truly wanted.  
  
A cold wind whipped around him as he ran into a wooded area in the park. In his haste to get away from his problems he had forgotten his coast and was starting to feel the chill in the air, but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him was escape. Escape from home, from school, from friends, from life. He needed to find a way out; to get away from the turmoil of his life, but he could see no solution. The light at the end of the road he was walking was growing dim, and all his hope was being engulfed by the ensuing darkness.  
  
A tall evergreen could be seen in the distance, its branches bowing under the weight of the newly fallen snow. The contrast of white and green made quite a dazzling display and seemed to form a safe haven from the wind. This was all the invitation Ranma needed to crawl under the hanging limbs and seek refuge from the elements. The thick foliage on the tree kept all of the snow and most of the wind out, and the carpet of pine needles on the ground helped to insulate him from the cold. This was the perfect place to hide for the time being. He was away from people, away from the elements; he was safe for now.  
  
He sat on the soft bed of pine needles and leaned against the tree. The sound of the wind softly whistling through the branches of the tree and their gentle swaying motion created such a relaxing atmosphere that Ranma soon found his head nodding and his eyes drooping, but sleep eluded him. He wanted to find the blissful peace that could only come with sleep, but every time he started to drift off she would come to mind.  
  
In his mind he could see her face perfectly as she smiled at him, and it wasn't just any smile it was the smile. It was the smile that was saved just for him; the one that made him throw all caution to the wind just to see one more time. She haunted his every waking moment and now it seemed as though she was going to dominate his sleep as well. A deep sigh emanated from his chest as he accepted this fact. She had managed to not only capture his heart, but to engrave her essence on his soul.  
  
He sat for a few minutes just thinking about her and how wonderful his life would be if he could just have her by his side forever. A smirk formed on his face as he realized the full implications of what he had just thought. If all of his other fiancées knew about this girl, no his girl, there would be no end of problems. They would try to harm her one way or another, and that was just not acceptable. Another thought entered his mind as he pictured each one of his fiancées; a few of them might try to kill her.  
  
A cold shiver traveled the length of his spine as this revelation hit home. He couldn't lose her; he couldn't let anyone destroy his happiness, not now! He had been alone for so long, even though he had been with his dad he was still alone. Now he felt as if her belonged somewhere and to something. He couldn't loose that.  
  
Life on the road might sound like a wonderful adventure to some people, but they didn't know the real truth. They were just replacing one reality for another. Responsibility for instability. Well he had tasted both and knew which he preferred. While living on the road he met a lot of people and saw many beautiful places that he would love to visit again, but he would never willingly live that lifestyle again. He had found something better; he had found stability.  
  
He felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth despite his dark mood as he thought about the loving family that had taken him in. They were his saviors, the ones that showed him how wonderful a permanent bond could be. The bond of a family that loved each other beyond measure and doubt. They had just accepted him and his dad into their lives as if they were meant to be there. He had finally found a piece of his life that had been missing for so long, and they had given it to him. They took card of him and watched out for him, just as he did for them. When he was sick they nursed him back to health. When he woke-up screaming in the middle of the night, they came running to make sure he was fine. Mere words could not begin to describe the feelings he had for these people. They were everything he was searching for and more.  
  
That's the kind of family he wanted for him and his girl, a family that loved each other more than the world. He would stand by her no matter what happened. He would never forsake her for another, even though he seemed to attract girls wherever he went. Even now he had all those unwanted fiancées after him, but they didn't hold his attention, they never had. There was only one girl who meant anything to him, who would ever mean anything to him. The feelings she stirred in his heart were so phenomenal that he wasn't even sure he was awake half the time. He loved her from the very depths of his soul. Now he could only hope she felt the same way about him.  
  
What was he going to do about his alleged fiancées though? If they knew how he felt about his girl there would be no stopping them. They were so focused on their competition over him that they would do anything to win, and the bombing of his wedding showed him how desperate they were becoming. He was going to have to do something about those girls. There had to be someway to make them leave without hurting them. He had to succeed or he would never be happy!  
  
Ranma's head fell forward as he felt a fresh wave of desperation wash over his body. Hot tears stun his eyes as they streamed down his face, but he didn't care. There was no one here to see him in this moment of weakness. Not that it would matter anyways, he didn't feel very manly right now. How could he be considered a man when he couldn't even keep his girl safe? He had let things go to far, and the situation was too out of hand. He should have told all the girls how he felt right from the beginning, but no he couldn't do that. Having friends was fun after his lonely childhood, and he couldn't risk hurting anyone's feelings. Besides, he got a whole lot of free food out of the deal.  
  
That didn't matter now though. He had been blind to the consequences of his actions the entire time. Being a nice guy sure spared some feelings, but in the end he just hurt him and his girl. How could he have been so stupid? Now he was stuck in an endless cycle of deceit. He never told his fiancées how he really felt about them. He never told anyone how he really felt about his girl. The only thing he was completely honest about was his distaste for his various engagements. He refused to marry for family honor and there was absolutely no way he was going to marry because of some stupid law. He didn't want to throw his life away and be miserable forever. There had to be some way to make everyone understand what he wanted for himself. Maybe if they all just sat down and talked he could get things worked out. He closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath as he thought about the absurdity of his thought. If he was lucky things may not get too violent, but lady luck never  
seemed to be a friend of his. He always had to put in a lot of hard work and fight for what he wanted, and this situation would probably not be any different.  
  
Still, he couldn't help but hope that everything would work out for the best. They would talk, the fiancées would understand, and he could move on. Then he wouldn't have to see the hurt look on his girls face every time one of his fiancées latched onto him. Maybe then she would understand his devotion to her and not jump to conclusions. He could finally explain all of his actions to her, and she would no longer feel threatened. Maybe then she could love him back, and he wouldn't be alone anymore.  
  
For the first time in hours a smile graced his face. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was starting to burn bright. He was going to take his life in his hands and start to mold it the way he wanted it to be. There would be some bitterness and a lot of hurt feelings by the time he was through, but he would deal with that later. He would make new and better friends. How could he have considered his fiancées friends anyways? From what he knew of the world, friends didn't try to poison or hurt each other all the time. That was going to change, he was going to stand up to them and show them that he was not a possession to be had! The whole idiotic scenario was going to stop whether they liked it or not, and if they tried something desperate again he would just have to show first hand how dangerous he could be.  
  
There was one thing he had to do first though. He was going to have to take the first step on his newly chosen path and talk to his girl. This could be no empty chatter either, it would have to be meaningful. He was going to have to spill his guts to her; tell her everything about himself and hope she understood all the risks involved with revealing their feelings to everyone else. She would have to willingly take on those risks with him because he couldn't subject her to them otherwise. He loved her too much to force her into a dangerous situation like that.  
  
A sound drifting on the wind caught his attention. It was a very sweet voice that sounded tender and caring as it called his name. It was his girl, she was near, and she was looking for him. He reached out with his senses to see if he could feel her ki and tell how close she was to finding him. What he sensed surprised him because he didn't expect her to be worried about him after their last encounter. Two of his fiancées had taken a lunch to the school for him to gain his favor. They had both been pawing at him and making him very uncomfortable for some time. He wished that they would stop and just go away, but every time he would try to inch away from them they would just follow. The whole situation was becoming very annoying and he was getting ready to tell them both to leave when his girl appeared. She was mad! He could see her aura before he could see her. He could not believe that she was going to get mad at him again! Couldn't she see that he was always trying to get  
away from those two? No, she probably couldn't. How could she see when he let them continue to think that they even had half a chance with him? He had tried to explain things to her, he really had, but she didn't listen. She never did. Her anger always got the best of her where he was concerned. Of course he didn't help matters much with his name-calling. He only did that to keep everyone form knowing how much he cared for her, and it worked, but he hurt her in the process. He would have to stop that. He had to find a way to get her to listen to him. He needed to explain everything to her!  
  
A determined look came over his features as he decided to take that first step right then and there. He was going to go out there, talk to her, and make her understand everything. He was going to confess his love for her and let her know how special she was. He quickly got to his feet and walked away from his safe haven and into the cold, uncertainty of the world. His feet felt weighed down as he took the first few steps towards her ever-nearing voice. Why did this have to be so hard? Why was he so scared to admit his true feeling to her? With the exception of cats, he had looked every other fear he had in the face, but this one was so overwhelming. How could he tell her how he felt when she might possibly turn him down? She was probably tired of the girls that always hung around him and was ready to get away, but if that was true why was she looking for him?  
  
He heard her voice even clearer now and noticed that she seemed to be getting very upset. This was just too much for him to bear at the moment; he didn't want her to be unhappy! She should be smiling all the time. The urge to comfort her was so strong that he felt his pace start to quicken as if by its own accord; he had to get to her before she got upset any more. Finally he cleared the woods and stepped out onto the newly fallen snow. The storm had passed and the clouds overhead were starting to clear. Bright strands of sunlight were streaming through the breaks in the clouds, causing the snow to sparkle in their wake. When he didn't see her right away he got frantic and thought she had turned back, leaving him. Then his heart seemed to stop as he saw her walking up over the rise, encircled in a beam of light; she seemed to be glowing. Slowly, she turned his way and saw him standing at the edge of the trees; she started to walk his way. She was carrying something black in  
her arms, but he couldn't quite tell what it was yet. She was almost half way across the clearing when he realized what she was carrying; it was his coat. Her simple act of concern for him brought a huge smile to his face as he realized that she must care for him. Why else would she be looking for him, and why would she think to bring him a coat? That was one of the reasons he loved her so much! His other fiancées would have used this as an attempt to snuggle close to him to try to keep him warm, but not his girl. She thought of him and his needs over what she wanted.  
  
The smile that formed on her face when she saw him caused his heart to beat start beating again. He just stood there staring at her thinking how beautiful she was. He knew he needed to say something, but he couldn't seem to get the words past the lump in his throat. This couldn't go on though, he knew he needed to say something before she turned and left, so he opened his mouth and said the first thing that came to mind.  
  
"Akane, come here. We need to talk."  
  
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When I wrote this I only planned to do this one part, but I am not so sure anymore. There are so many different points of view to take into consideration. I might write more, but I am not sure at this point.  
  
Please review the story, and if I get enough positive feedback I just might be persuaded to try another point of view. Keep in mind though that my main focus is to finish Starry Night.  
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
Seong Mi 


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